Secret Stares
by Jacquese
Summary: Two students forced to hide their relationship because it would definitely not be accepted at East High. After four months, can they handle the secret any longer? WARNING: Slash TR Please read AN inside! Rated T for the slash. Please don't bash the slash


**A/N: I wanted to keep this story as short as possible, so I combined the first day back from winter break with the day of the auditions. I didn't remember what day that was, so with that said, this story takes place the Wednesday and Thursday after winter break. Enjoy!**

I watch him as he walks down the hall. I try not to look like I'm staring, but I know that to him, it's painfully obvious. I know how much he wants to look back, but he doesn't. He can't. That's not how it works. It's not accepted at East High.

He's the reason I get up in the morning. He's the reason I come to school. He's my life. He's the reason why I'm still living. It sounds overdramatic, but that's how it is. Before him, no one really wanted to be my friend. I'm still not sure if people do or not, but at least I feel like I can fit in with him. He's helped me in so many ways.

As he passes my locker, he gives me a secret wink. He's not looking directly at me, and I'm not directly looking at him. I see the brief gesture out of the corner of my eye. I smile to myself before slamming my locker shut and heading off to class.

In homeroom he sits in the back near his friends, his basketball buddies. He is so gorgeous. I just want to turn around and stare at him the whole time, but I have to content myself with pretending to stretch my back when I do that. I always see his sweet smirk plastered on his face. He knows what I'm doing. He knows that I can't take my eyes off of him for more than 10 seconds let alone all of homeroom.

Mrs. Darbus reminds us all that the auditions for Twinkle Town will be this free period. My name is absolutely on the list. It always is. I just…It's really bad timing. I need to spend more time with him. We were just apart for all of winter break, and we need to catch up with one another. He said that he'd come and watch my audition, and we'd talk afterwards, but I wish that we could be in the privacy of my house or even his. It wouldn't look odd. My parents are never home, and his don't care. They don't know me, and they think I'm just someone from school who was paired with him for a science project.

Then a cell phone sounds in class. I immediately pull mine out, but there's nothing. That's odd. My phone almost always rings. You'd think that I'd recognize the ring tone, but I have too many, and I change them all the time. Darbus takes away our phones and gives six of us detention. Six! On the third day back! I have stage work to do anyway, but it still cuts into my schedule. Luckily _he_ was one of the six to get detention we could definitely find some time afterwards to talk…

During free period, I got ready for my audition. I was nervous, but I knew that I would do well. As I stood to get ready on stage, I looked out in the auditorium for him. I finally noticed him hiding behind a janitor's bin. But…he wasn't alone. He was with the new girl. It stung a little, but I soon got over it. He would never do that to me.

The audition went well, but my "partner" and I bumped a bit. We still did well, and Darbus had all good things to say. I went backstage after people starting leaving to wait for him. He wouldn't be caught dead in the theater, and that's why it was the perfect place for us to be alone. Darbus makes the last calls for auditions, but no one responds. Not long after I hear her start to leave, a voice rings out.

"I'd like to audition, Mrs. Darbus!"

My brows furrow as I hear the exchange. Mrs. Darbus replies, "Time means something in the world of the theater. Singles auditions are long over, and there are simply no other pairs."

"I'll sing with her."

"No…" I whisper to myself. It couldn't be. Troy doesn't sing. Not that I know of anyway. He never let me hear his voice, claiming that he couldn't carry a tune to save his life.

Darbus says it's too late and leaves. So many thoughts roam through my mind, but soon I hear Kelsie playing the piano. Then a beautiful masculine voice rings out through the theater.

_It's hard to believe_

_That I couldn't see_

_You were always there_

_Beside me_

A tear comes to my eye, but I don't dare let it fall. Then the new girl's voice follows.

_Thought I was alone_

_With no one to hold_

_But you were_

_Always there beside me_

_This feeling's like no other_

_I want you to know_

_That I've never had someone_

_That knows me like you do_

_The way you do_

_And I've never had someone_

_As good for me as you_

_No one like you_

_So lonely before_

_I finally found_

_What I've been looking for_

I can't believe how good he sounds. But if he always sounded that good, why didn't he ever let me hear him? Why her and not me? I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I know Troy better than anyone else. I love him. I…I _thought_ he loved me. Maybe he still did. Maybe I was completely overreacting. But was I? I looked out to the stage and saw how happy he was. The wound grew deeper.

"Bolton, Montez, you have a callback," came Mrs. Darbus's voice.

I needed to talk to Troy. ASAP.

At detention that night, I couldn't take my mind off of Troy. That was usually the case with me, but this was different. The new girl kept sending him looks, and he would smile back. It stung badly, and the wound reopened. I couldn't explain the pain that was going through my body at just the thought of him wanting her, but what if I wasn't overreacting? What if it was the real thing? As I walked past him, I pretended to drop a piece of paper. He looked back at me, and I unintentionally nodded back. He opened the note and read it, and I saw him nod his head in understanding, but not at me. He was better at hiding our relationship than I was.

I waited for him in the catwalk after school. I paced it up and down, but I had to be silent. Most people didn't look at this part of the auditorium when they walked in, so it was an easy seclusion for Troy and I. I hear the door open, and I look to my left to see his silhouette in the doorway. I visibly gulp. Why was I mentioning this? I would probably only hurt him or myself, and what was the use? What did it matter if he wanted her as long as he came back to me?

"Hey," he says as he approaches me. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah," I reply hoarsely. He reaches for my hand, but I pull it away. I can't have him touch me right now. I'm already losing focus as it is. He furrows his brows and looks a little worried. "I…I'm sick of this Troy," I say. "Something has to change."

He looks even more worried. He thinks I'm breaking up with him. I don't know why, but I wear an expression that says, 'Whatever you're thinking, it's probably right.' It's his turn to gulp. "Y—yeah?" he says slowly, visibly shaken.

"I don't want to hide anymore, Troy," I say. "I can't do it. I _won't_ do it anymore."

He looks confused. I continue. "I won't hide our relationship, Troy. I love you, and that's all that matters. I don't care what other people think, and you shouldn't either."

"I don't," he says sharply. He's upset, just like I knew he'd be.

"Yes, you do," I say to him. It's time to fess up. "I saw you with that Montez girl."

He looks at me with complete disbelief. It's not shock, worry, or fear behind his eyes. It's anger. "You what?"

"I saw you sing with her."

"You were spying on me?!"

"No!" I said. My voice had gotten too loud. If anyone walked in, they would be able to hear us, so I went into a whisper again. "I saw you behind the janitor's cart during my audition, and I thought you might come back stage to say hi after everyone left. I waited, and the next thing I knew, you were onstage singing!"

My whispers were harsh, and I knew that I needed to calm down. This was getting too out of hand too fast. He was silent. There was nothing he could say, so I went on. "You've never even sung for me Troy, and we've been together for nearly four months. What am I supposed to think about that?"

"It's just singing!"

"It's about more than singing!" I retort. "You let her get close to you, and you've known her for only three days! How could you trust her over me?"

"I…I met her during vacation," he said. "We both went to the same ski resort for the holidays."

He looks down at the grates that hold us up. I look at him with an incredulous expression spread across my features. I swallow thickly as the tears gather. "I get it. I completely understand why you want our relationship to be a secret." He looks up at me confused.

"I comprehend, Bolton," I say icily. "You want to make yourself look good by being interested in a pretty face. You need to hide who you are because you're ashamed!"

"That's not it at all!"

"Yes, it is!" I say. I take a look into his sad eyes and can't believe how beautiful they look. _But I suppose that this is the best for both of us,_ I think to myself. "Goodbye Troy. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Wait!" he called. "I'm doing this to protect you! I hear what people say! They hate you! I just…I don't want you to get hurt!"

"It's too late Troy. You had four months to tell me." I sigh as I see the tears running down his face. I just want to wipe them all away, tell him everything will be alright, that I don't mean what I'm saying, but I don't do anything. I just turn and walk away as my own tears begin to fall. The last thing I hear before I descend the stairs is him calling out. "Don't do this!" He sobs. "Ryan please!"

But I just keep walking.

The next day was the absolute worst day of my life. I couldn't believe how much not being with him hurt. Just the knowledge that I would no longer be able to hold him or kiss him or be near him…it was agony, but it had to be done. We would be better off, and I knew that with time I would overcome my feelings for him.

I didn't sneak a single look during homeroom. I couldn't bear too. Once while I was talking to Sharpay, however, I turned my eyes towards him so he wouldn't notice. He wasn't looking at me. He wasn't looking at anyone or anything for that matter. He was staring off into space. The pain was evident in his eyes, and I felt so guilty for having been the cause of his pain. I just turned around, unable to handle anymore.

Troy went to basketball practice during free period, and Sharpay told me that she overheard Gabriella say that she wasn't thinking about the callback since Troy flat out refused to do it. Sharpay was happy, and I smiled, but I was a mess inside. It was absolutely ridiculous. All of this over a guy?

But Troy wasn't just a guy. He was the love of my life. I could barely breathe without him.

The rest of the day went by and slowly it took forever just to get to lunch. As I was getting my things from my locker, I heard the hall go silent. There were slight whispers, but when I looked around everyone was staring in a certain direction. I looked behind me, and I saw Troy walking towards me. He came right up to my locker, and that was when I saw it. He had a hug black eye on the right side of his face.

"Troy," I whispered. "What the hell happened?"

"There he is," I heard someone say. I looked down the hall and saw some of Troy's teammates at the end of the hall. Shockingly, neither of them were Jason, Zeke, or Chad. They started walking towards us and when they were near enough they said, "Stay away from him you faggot."

One of them tried to hit me, but Troy just grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him into the lockers. "Don't you ever say that again you son of a bitch!" he yelled. That was so unlike Troy. He never got mad at anyone, and if he did, it was never this severe. It scared me a bit.

He took a deep breath and said, "Do you have all of your stuff?" I nodded. Closing my locker and placing the lock back on it, I swung my backpack over one shoulder. Troy grabbed my hand, and we laced fingers before walking down to lunch together.

"I love you Ryan," he said openly and loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"I love you too," I replied with a genuine smile placed on my face. He kissed my hand and we continued on to lunch.

No one ever touched me because I had Troy Bolton, the love of my life, there to protect me all through high school, college, and the rest of my…our lives.

**A catwalk is a runway looking thing that hangs from the top of the auditorium. The one at my high school is covered so that no one sees it. It has grates for floors so you can completely see what's underneath it which is usually some sort of thing like hug ceiling tiles made of wood so that if the grate breaks, you have something to fall on. It has railings and is used to hold lights so that you don't have to use spotlights for every single scene. http://www.duneland.k12.in.us/chs/techtheatre/images/catwalk2.JPG If you see the railings, that's the catwalk.**

**Review please!! Critiques are welcome along with positives! &&jacquese++  
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